the dream is over

Dammit.  The dream is over.  I always thought that we would be great parents to a gay boy.  Well, it’s perfectly clear now.  My boys are straight.  We’ve had The Moment.  You know the moment you can tell that your kid is going to be a leftie.  Well, we had the straight moment for BigBoy AND Baby.  There wasn’t much doubt that Baby would be straight, he’s too…I don’t know…brash since he’s been able to move around.  BigBoy though, he’s a sensitive one.  I was holding out for him to be my queer boy.  Alas, it ain’t gonna happen.  My GBF said it’s that damn strong hetro Canadian sperm that did it.  <sigh>

Baby was easy to figure out.  He’s been calling Lola his “girlfriend” for months now.  That kid also has loved the boobies since the day he was born.  But wait, that’s not a determining factor.  GBF loves the titties too.  So scratch that idea.  Anyway, we were on our way to the grocery store and at the street corner were a few pretty, college-aged girls.  Let me remind you that we live in the San Diego area.  Pretty young things abound here.  We were at a stop light and I happened to look over my shoulder at him and saw what he was looking at out the window.  I chuckled and he looks at me, points out the window and say “Girlfriends!”  Yeah, he’s 2 people.  I think we can check the straight box now.  check.

As for BigBoy, the tell was after a recent “adult” party we went to for a dear friend.  There were a few of us there with little ones under five and we were encouraging the kids to go play together (so we could socialize without the clingons).  There were only three of them: our BigBoy, Preppy Sweater Boy and Pink Cowgirl.  The kids did a great job playing for about an hour until a wine glass was broken and that pretty much killed my low-grade buzz.  It was time to put the kiddos to bed and get us outta there.  On the way to the van (yes, I drive a van) BigBoy said, “Mom, you’ve got to call Pink Cowgirl’s mom!”  “Why’s that?” I replied.  “Because I want her to come to our Happy Hour parties.  She’s BEAUTIFUL!”  Really? Because I found her kinda freaky. Husband and I just smiled and whispered the whole way home.  That was the first time he’s ever exclaimed his attraction to something other than Speed Racer.  And it was a girl!  Pink Cowgirl. Giddy up, cowboy.

I’d say over the years that I’ve had pretty accurate gaydar.  I’d give me a B+ for sure.  So if my boys surprise me 20 years from now, I wonder what I’d miss.  Cheers, friends!