So I’m having a mini mommy-freak-out right now. And at the same time I don’t want to whip it into a froth either. It doesn’t have to go that way (thank you Mr. P90X for that saying. I learned that lesson from you.) But as a parent, don’t you have those horrifying flashes in your mind’s eye (or a reoccurring dream, maybe) of the worst possible thing that can happen to your child? Don’t we all have that kind of instantaneous moments of fear that can grab us from time to time? I’ve gotten pretty good at shaking those off and not dwelling on it, but they sure do come up and scare the bejesus out of me.
My absolute worst fear is that my boys will get knocked over by a wave and something bad will happen to them. See, summer is quickly approaching and one of the most awesomest things about living here is that Lola, our boys and I (and many wonderful friends) spend pretty much every Sunday all day at the beach. The kids go crazy all day, we pack lunch and snacks and lots of sunscreen, the mommas take turns with the kids and some of us actually get to read and relax to the sound of the ocean, a nice warm breeze, and (hopefully) a lot of laughter. Super bonus rounds happen when I actually get in the ocean and swim and float and swim…ahhh! (But that usually doesn’t happen until August or September when the water gets really warm, the stars are aligned, everyone has been fed, no one is in a time-out, no kids sees me walk off, etc.) Let me tell you, beach days rock. Beach time has been a part of my recovery program, getting over the utter heartbreak of trading SF urban dwelling for the SoCal ‘burbs. It was hard, but I got over it (with a tan).
So today was the boys’ first swimming lessons. When the boys were infants, we did a class or two. BigBoy screamed pretty much through the entire series and Husband couldn’t take it any more, so we quit. We’ve also been tortured with screaming fits at soccer and t-ball. We’re to the point that if he doesn’t want to play sports and it’s not fun for him, it’s certainly not fun for us, so why torture ourselves? So no surprise when the same behavior was displayed at the pool today. (Though I have to admit I thought that BabyD would have been a bit more bold, knowing his personality, but I suppose he’s taking after his big brother this time). Yes, they pretty much cried through the whole half hour. I feel really sorry for the instructor having them back to back in 30-minute lessons.
The manager and instructor told me it was typical and normal and repeatedly said that it was ok. And I’m not upset or worried about the crying, really I’m not. I know they were in good hands, but my problem is two fold. First, how much of their bad attitude am I going to put up with or will I eventually cave? Just imagine trying to get them into the building with limited tears and tantrums, let alone getting them back into the water. Secondly, I don’t want to warp them either. Will they remember the fits or the great fun of swimming once they get there?
I know, stay the course. Stay strong. I am. However, my fortitude completely lies in my belief that it’s a safety issue (yeah, yeah, yeah driven by my fear, whatever). When I think about it, swimming is pretty much a non-negotiable with me. You have to learn how to swim, given our geographical location and lifestyle, right? We live practically at the beach or the community pool during the summertime. Doesn’t that count for something? Additionally, I really don’t want my 5 ½ year old in the baby pool all summer while the 2 year old is jumping off the sides into the big pool. Let’s not even talk about the Big Fear at the beach. They MUST SWIM dammit!
Am I over thinking this? Most likely. Should I make them swim? I know how to sell it, make this seem like it’s going to be a great, fun experience (because that too is a possible outcome). I can stay positive. I do, after all have a sunshine tattooed on my back side. However, will those water babies wear me down with the wailing?
I think I need a drink. What do you think of the situation? Have any words of wisdom? I could use them. Cheers.
Make them swim (we live in SD)! I remember the terrors @ swim lessons, too. You are not alone w/ that experience. A word to the wise – self medicate before hand and it will be a lot easier on your nerves.
Yes, swimming is a necessity. According to New York Magazine in 2003 “If you both (parents) own a gun and have a swimming pool in your backyard, the swimming pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than a gun is” (Quoted from the book Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner)
I bet if the teacher makes it fun by having them ride (swim) on her back and jump to toys it will be better. Otherwise, I say let’em cry it out. They have to learn to swim!
Well I am a little shocked he did not take after his true big brother (the jury is out on the DNA if he is mine or not) but I bet you if I can get a day while he has his classes and take his other big brother there with him, and have him go in with him maybe and show him, I bet he would be all over it. In fact borrow him from his class and I can pack a swimsuit, and see if that works.
You are an awesome mom and I love how you look after your (mine) boys!!! Very proactive!!
Your kids sounds exactly like mine! I believe everyone needs to know how to swim. (probably because I have those mini freak outs too, I mean, what if we survive a plane crash or something and we’re floating in the water, I won’t be able to hold both kids up…I can get in depth with my freak outs!) they need to know how to swim for fun and most importantly for safety. I’m enrolling my 3 year old for this first time this year, I’m enrolling my 9 year old for the 4th time. BEGINNERS swimming. She’s a big baby and throws the fits and won’t learn. ugh. Do they make adult size water wings? We might just have to go that route!
I’m going to follow you on twitter & here!
Vivobello, thanks for stopping by and commenting! I tried to take BigBoy to pick out new swim trunks today and AGAIN he made a comment about not wanting to go. So I pulled him out of the store, sat both boys down and told them that swimming is a NON-NEGOTIABLE. It’s a SAFETY ISSUE! They don’t have a choice in the matter. So get over it already and get on to the fun. I told them they won’t remember all this whining and crying later on. Summer is about swimming and fun with friends! Yesterday I showed them pictures of kids their ages swimming at a water park, in a lake and in a pool to encourage happy thoughts. I don’t know if any of this is going to work, but I’m gonna keep trying! Good luck with that 9 y.o.! Yikers! If these lessons don’t take in 2-3 more, I’m likely to go this route: because at the bottom of it, I REALLY mean it about swimming being a non-negotiable and the safety thing. Again, good luck and thanks for stopping by.
Lola, I think that if you were in the water with BabyD there would be too many distractions for all the teachers! Yeah, there’s a cute guy teacher that was especially nice to BigBoy so I’m thinking maybe a private lesson with him. (for the boys! not me! get you mind out of the gutter woman!)
Thanks Carrie for the support. I’ve settled into the non-negotiable aspect of of it. THEY WILL SWIM DAMMIT! And what if you had a gun in a swimming pool would that increase the odds of injury?
The class did look fun they just had too many tears in the their eyes to really relax and notice!
P90, were these your terrors from your childhood or the ones you survived when you took your kids to lessons? Or the terrors your kids had? And if so, do they remember all the whining and wailing? You’re kids are so totally swimmers now, I can’t imagine it was hard to get them in the water at all!
[...] you may know the boys had a hard time earlier this summer when it came time to learning how to swim. Their lessons have been going ‘swimmingly’ well (sorry I couldn’t resist) and they are [...]