rage against my capris

I know.  Sexy is an attitude.  It comes from within.  But there are days when I feel so mom.  Like I’m not jen.  Just mom.  No jen sauce.  No jen on the side.  Just mom.  Wiping the tears, listening to the fighting, interrupting fighting, band-aiding boo-boos, setting out clothes, helping with clothes, brushing teeth, putting on the potty, finding shoes, picking up toys, wiping counter tops down, fixing dinner, talking with Husband, putting to bed…you know the drill.  Many of you are right there with me.

To help me adjust to motherhood, I made up a saying that is a declaration, a meditation, and an affirmation; something that just helps me to get by.  It is “there’s enough room here for everybody.”  What I mean is that there’s enough room here (in my family, in my house, in my community, among my friends) for everyone to have a little space, have their needs met, get a little love and happiness.  There’s enough.  We’re all welcome here.

That’s me being happy and open, ready for the possibilities of what lies ahead.  You know, “the hills are alive” and all that jazz (sts).

Then there are also days when I really hope that we don’t run into each other at the grocery store.  I’m grumpy, short-tempered and the kids are in the way…you know that feeling?  In fact, I’ll even admit it, I (accidentally) knocked BigBoy over in the store today.  It was a big boo-hoo scene.  Suck it up kid, was the extent of my sympathy (sorry it just goes that way sometimes).  We go to an unconventional grocery store with smaller aisles and I really ask that the boys (I try to keep BabyD in the seat) to pay attention to the cart and other people in the aisle.  They need to stay out of others’ way and watch where I’m steering.  They can’t just wander (or run) around the aisles aimlessly.  Because kids like that are annoying and I’m sorry because those may be your kids.  (Don’t hate me for asking the question, but you do know that behavior is annoying, right?  Especially in small markets or areas with limited spaces or crowds or…I better shut up now. )

But here I am correcting BigBoy, holding BabyD because he’s about to have a meltdown and unloading the grocery cart all at the same time.  I hate these days.  I’m in a mood.  I never feel less sexy than going grocery shopping in my mom uniform.  You know what I’m talking about, right?  Mom uniform:  capris, non-belly flab revealing t-shirt and matching flip flops, which is of course the dressier version of yoga pants and a two-day old tank top.

I promise you these are not my capri pants. But it's how they make me feel.

There is nothing redeeming about capris.  Your legs are either too chubby for shorts (or you’re demented enough to think so) or it’s too cold for exposing your legs, but all your junky jeans really need to get washed.  I try to cute-up my capris with a cool t-shirt and matching flip flops.  And you know what Grammy taught me, “A lady never leaves her house without lipstick and earrings.”  I put in a good minimal effort.  But the simple truth is who looks good wearing these?

I think the simple fact of the matter is that these capris to blame.  They made me grumpy.  It’s their fault.  So if sexy is an attitude and a feeling then my carpis make me feel so not sexy, frumpy, generic, like a mom who has lost herself and I don’t give a shit.  And then f-off thankyouverymuch.

Excuse me.  I think I need to go change out of these capris and back into not just another jen.  Cheers.

For more rage against capris, here were some good ones:

FLAM’s Fashion Fail: Capri Pants

Mom Uniform Not for Me

Capri Alternatives, or That Girl That I Hate

Red alert! It’s another anti-capri sortie