Swimming Lessons by Betsy Jay

This was the best swimming book and I feel that must be read like a head-strong girl who talks fast and is a smarty-pants (let’s just say that it wasn’t a stretch for me to get into character).  I loved it.  BigBoy and I laughed over it.  In the story, the mother of the girl is doing all the tricks that I went through to get her daughter to swim (new swim suit, talking about how much fun it is, all the people that know how to swim, etc.)   But it’s not until she meets Jimmy who says that girls and chickens don’t swim.  That does it and she gets in and gives it to him in the end.  It’s never too early to teach BigBoy that you can’t push girls around.  Unless of course they are his cousins, which is perfectly fine.

Beach Play by Marsha Hayles

I am a big fan of rhyming books.  While the book didn’t really talk about swimming in the ocean it did have “big wave crashing” which I keep reminding BigBoy of my big fear so I could emphasize the importance of knowing how to swim.  I loved the illustrations by Hideko Takahashi.

Froggy Learns to Swim by Jonathan London

This was a favorite with the boys (both of them) while on my learning to swim campaign.  The story is about a frog that thinks he can’t swim.  Just like little kids they think they need certain items (flippers, snorkel, etc.) to give them success.  But finally, Froggy realizes that he can swim and he loves it.  Isn’t that just what I’ve been telling the boys?

Swim, Boots, Swim a Nickelodeon Dora the Explorer book by Phoebie Beinstein

This was also a big hit.  Who knew that my youngest, BabyD, loved mermaids so much?  I think what was successful is that the main characters, Dora and Boots, are very familiar.  It turns out that Mariana the mermaid teaches Boots how to go underwater, hold his breath, paddle arms and kick his legs.  Which is exactly the mechanics that they are learning in swim class.  If only the boys could learn as quick as Boots.

Beach Day by Patricia Lakin

This was a fun and colorful book about friends trying to get to the beach.  I particularly liked the cadence and flow of the language.  We thought it was cool that the friends rode a 4-person bike.  Fun and adventure with friends is the main point of the story, but I emphasized the fun we can have with our friends at the pool when it’s hot outside.

Bloggy friends, do you have favorite kid books that have to do with swimming?  I’d love to hear your picks.  Cheers!

PLEASE NOTE:  While these books do link to Amazon, I do not currently have an affiliate link, although I should do something about that.  However, I will always advocate buying used books and more importantly using your local library.

DAY 1 (Wednesday):  I swear it takes me eight hours to pack the three of us.  Wednesday afternoon (yeah, late start) the boys and I drove from our home in San Diego to St. George, Utah (first stop).  The van was packed with snacks, activities, and (thank goodness) BigBoy’s Leapster.  We made the quickie, four-hour trip to Vegas.  I thought it would be cool to get out and eat on The Strip.  We found an easy-access Denny’s near public parking.  On our two-block walk we saw Jack Sparrow, Edward Cullen, and Wonder Woman.  I love Las Vegas.  I also love people watching all the tourists and party whores.

Three hours from Las Vegas to get to St. George, Utah where we spent our first night. Overall, the boys did a fantastic job in the car.  BigBoy could see the clock on the dash and he knew not to keep asking me how much longer it will it be to get there because I just kept saying, “What time did I say?”  In his exasperated voice, “I know Mom! You said 7:00.”  I simply replied, “Well, dude, nothing’s changed.”  End of discussion.  That works for me.

NotJustAnotherJen & the boys - Salt Wash, UT

I’m surprised by how many people are astonished that I’m travelling alone with two little ones.  Husband’s working and I like our separate vacations.  We’ll meet up next week at my parents’ house for our family reunion. I like being with the boys, especially when we’re out of our regular routine.  I tell them that we’re on this adventure together and that we need to look out for each other.  BigBoy has been incredibly helpful, more so than he ever is at home.  BabyD still sleeps in his crib at home, but on the trip I’m forgoing the pack-n-play and having the boys sleep together.  The boys are creating a special, brotherly bond, which is so charming to watch.  And yes, BabyD fell out of the bed twice and I barely got any sleep because I thought he’d roll out again, but it’s okay.  I’m on vacation.  I’m just happy to be here (wherever here is).

Watch the road!

DAY 2 (Thursday):  The next destination was Castle Rock, Colorado where my brother and his wife live.  The boys are so very excited to see their cousins.  This leg of the trip was a 10-hour drive through some of the most incredible landscape in the United States (at least what I’ve seen of the U.S.).  Utah is an extraordinarily beautiful state.  We’re definitely coming back for a family vacation.  We made a pit stop at Salt Wash, Utah and climbed rocks and killed ants.  The picture on the right was taken while driving.  (I know, don’t yell at me!  But look, it is astonishingly beautiful.)

We were in Silt, Colorado (what a name!) when BabyD had a shit storm.  I pulled over at the (I kid you not) the Kum & Go.  What is it about Pull-Ups that doesn’t contain the poop?  It goes out the side, down the leg and into the shoes.  Ugh.  I had a trail of poop from the car to the wash room in the nasty stop of the Kum & Go.  The whole place was like a trashy truck stop, complete with a tattooed drunk couple yelling at each other out front.  Oh lord, the whole scene was NASTY, as you might imagine with a name like the Kum & Go (sorry, had to say it again).  I really needed a drink after that but settled for a Starbucks.  We had three and a half more hours to go.

The road from Silt was out of this world.  We travelled along side the Colorado River on Interstate 70 passing through Aspen, Vail, and Breckenridge.  I’ve never skied there, but can see why it’s such a big deal.  During the summer when the river is high, people are fly fishing and biking around.  The soaring, red mountains are breathtaking.  It was astounding.  Eventually it began to rain hard and get dark, so coming down the mountain into the Denver area was a white-knuckling experience with the steep grades and large semis, but we made it.  I had to yell at tell the boys to “zip it!” a good number of times, but they know when Mommy’s starting to stress, not to push my buttons.

My brother and his family are in a new huge, gorgeous model home (moved in on the day of my arrival…more on that later), which is also amazing.  They are up on a breathtaking ridge with the grand Rockies framed perfectly in every window of the house.

I love the West.  I love the rich, deep colors.  I love the heat.  I love that I’m sharing this with my boys who are just starting to be at the age to appreciate it.  We’ll be here through July 4^th then on to my parent home in Durango, Colorado on Monday.  The following weekend we have a family reunion that we’ve been preparing for months.  I can’t wait to share the West with the rest of them.

Right now, I’m going to relish the beauty around me and keep my vacation frame of mind, especially when there are so many kids screaming, yelling and enjoying each other.  Thankfully, Heather and I will get our girly-fill of margaritas and Eclipse tonight.  Cheers to family and summer fun.

NOTE: I wanted to post this earlier, but they still don’t have internet connectivity at the house.  More to come.

All Ready to Go, Mom!

We love Wordless Wednesdays.  Thank you Angry Julie and Red Lotus Mama for sharing with us.

Memorial Day Weekend - JenH w/BigBoy & Baby D

Thanks Angry Julie for Wordless Wednesday! 

My absolute worst fear is that my boys will get knocked over by a wave and something bad will happen to them.  See, summer is quickly approaching and one of the most awesomest things about living here is that Lola, our boys and I (and many wonderful friends) spend pretty much every Sunday all day at the beach.  The kids go crazy all day, we pack lunch and snacks and lots of sunscreen, the mommas take turns with the kids and some of us actually get to read and relax to the sound of the ocean, a nice warm breeze, and (hopefully) a lot of laughter.  Super bonus rounds happen when I actually get in the ocean and swim and float and swim…ahhh!  (But that usually doesn’t happen until August or September when the water gets really warm, the stars are aligned, everyone has been fed, no one is in a time-out, no kids sees me walk off, etc.)  Let me tell you, beach days rock.  Beach time has been a part of my recovery program, getting over the utter heartbreak of trading SF urban dwelling for the SoCal ‘burbs.  It was hard, but I got over it (with a tan).

So today was the boys’ first swimming lessons.  When the boys were infants, we did a class or two.  BigBoy screamed pretty much through the entire series and Husband couldn’t take it any more, so we quit.  We’ve also been tortured with screaming fits at soccer and t-ball.  We’re to the point that if he doesn’t want to play sports and it’s not fun for him, it’s certainly not fun for us, so why torture ourselves?  So no surprise when the same behavior was displayed at the pool today.  (Though I have to admit I thought that BabyD would have been a bit more bold, knowing his personality, but I suppose he’s taking after his big brother this time).  Yes, they pretty much cried through the whole half hour.  I feel really sorry for the instructor having them back to back in 30-minute lessons.

The manager and instructor told me it was typical and normal and repeatedly said that it was ok.  And I’m not upset or worried about the crying, really I’m not.  I know they were in good hands, but my problem is two fold.  First, how much of their bad attitude am I going to put up with or will I eventually cave?  Just imagine trying to get them into the building with limited tears and tantrums, let alone getting them back into the water.  Secondly, I don’t want to warp them either.  Will they remember the fits or the great fun of swimming once they get there?

I know, stay the course.  Stay strong.  I am.  However, my fortitude completely lies in my belief that it’s a safety issue (yeah, yeah, yeah driven by my fear, whatever).  When I think about it, swimming is pretty much a non-negotiable with me.  You have to learn how to swim, given our geographical location and lifestyle, right?  We live practically at the beach or the community pool during the summertime.  Doesn’t that count for something?  Additionally, I really don’t want my 5 ½ year old in the baby pool all summer while the 2 year old is jumping off the sides into the big pool.  Let’s not even talk about the Big Fear at the beach.  They MUST SWIM dammit!

Am I over thinking this?  Most likely.  Should I make them swim?  I know how to sell it, make this seem like it’s going to be a great, fun experience (because that too is a possible outcome).  I can stay positive.  I do, after all have a sunshine tattooed on my back side.  However, will those water babies wear me down with the wailing?

I think I need a drink.  What do you think of the situation?  Have any words of wisdom?  I could use them.  Cheers.

Baby was easy to figure out.  He’s been calling Lola his “girlfriend” for months now.  That kid also has loved the boobies since the day he was born.  But wait, that’s not a determining factor.  GBF loves the titties too.  So scratch that idea.  Anyway, we were on our way to the grocery store and at the street corner were a few pretty, college-aged girls.  Let me remind you that we live in the San Diego area.  Pretty young things abound here.  We were at a stop light and I happened to look over my shoulder at him and saw what he was looking at out the window.  I chuckled and he looks at me, points out the window and say “Girlfriends!”  Yeah, he’s 2 people.  I think we can check the straight box now.  check.

As for BigBoy, the tell was after a recent “adult” party we went to for a dear friend.  There were a few of us there with little ones under five and we were encouraging the kids to go play together (so we could socialize without the clingons).  There were only three of them: our BigBoy, Preppy Sweater Boy and Pink Cowgirl.  The kids did a great job playing for about an hour until a wine glass was broken and that pretty much killed my low-grade buzz.  It was time to put the kiddos to bed and get us outta there.  On the way to the van (yes, I drive a van) BigBoy said, “Mom, you’ve got to call Pink Cowgirl’s mom!”  “Why’s that?” I replied.  “Because I want her to come to our Happy Hour parties.  She’s BEAUTIFUL!”  Really? Because I found her kinda freaky. Husband and I just smiled and whispered the whole way home.  That was the first time he’s ever exclaimed his attraction to something other than Speed Racer.  And it was a girl!  Pink Cowgirl. Giddy up, cowboy.

I’d say over the years that I’ve had pretty accurate gaydar.  I’d give me a B+ for sure.  So if my boys surprise me 20 years from now, I wonder what I’d miss.  Cheers, friends!

Monday was just one of those days.  To admit the truth, I didn’t do my morning meditation or my yoga, so it just goes to show me.  Anyway, BigBoy was not listening to me and was not picking up the toys off the floor and out of my room.  Don’t you know, I stepped on that stupid, yellow metal jet and cut my foot.  Of course this was all happening when BabyD was screaming and the dog was at my heels wanting something.  I yelled a loud profanity and I swear I could have thrown that yellow jet like a ninja star toward BigBoy, but I held it and screamed some more.  I gimped back to my room while I heard BigBoy break into sobs because undoubtedly I scared him.  He apologized.  I apologized.  All was well.

But then again there was BabyD who just couldn’t get the day started on the right foot.  He was crying and hitting and pushing our buttons.  I start my deep breathing and turned on the hot water for a shower.  “Just two minutes alone and quiet, please” I prayed.  I could hear the boys playing (and fighting, but they’ll work it out) down the hall.  I saw my moment and jumped into the shower.  I love HOT showers.  Lots of good thinking and relaxing happens there.  As I was toweling off and putting on lotion, BigBoy walks in and says to me, “I protected you from Baby and here’s a band aid, Mom.”  OMG…how endearing is that?  Love them!

Yesterday, I was blow drying my hair and the boys were jumping on my bed.  BabyD comes around because he likes when I shoot the blow dryer at him.  We were laughing and carrying on and he starts screaming “Bug!  Mommy! Mommy! Bug!”  I look around but I don’t see it and his little pudgy legs run over to me fast and he starts stomping on the bug (I think it was a silverfish or something).  He was protecting me from the bug.  I said “Thank You BabyD!” and gave him the biggest hug ever.  Love him!

Ahh how sweet it is to have my little boys looking after and protecting me.  Chivalry is alive in my house!

Where am I these days? Am I lost? No. Well maybe a little bit. I’m working on finding my way through a storm.

Am I okay? Yes, but weary. I need to find my peaceful waters. I am close. I can feel it.

So, how do I get there? Writing. I can feel my way through. It always helps to write what’s working first. There are undeniable, beautiful things in my life right now. So I’ll start there.

Holy cow (as Drew is fond of saying right now)…Encinitas is simply beautiful! I thank god often for being able to enjoy my life here. The ocean, blue skies, palm trees (f’ing palm trees – sometimes I want to gag, sometimes I want to giggle) and the completely sublime weather. (I swear if I had a dollar for every person that complains about the weather here! There are so many complainers and I COMPLETELY do not understand what there is to gripe about!) It’s summertime and it couldn’t be more spectacular weather. Hell, I’m taking the boys and going to the beach today for a few hours. Not bad, eh?

Those boys – I was laid off in January and the blessing is that I’ve gotten to discover who these gorgeous little blondie boys are. I have two: BigBoy is 4 ½ and BabyD is 1 ½ . To me they are simply stunning and often they take my breath away with their smiles. It’s funny that I once couldn’t even think of myself as a mom and here I am blown over by two half pints. The boys are the best gift I’ve ever received – and wow, they are a gift that keeps on giving.

My husband – I’ve got a good’en (as Grammy would say). And I should be WAY MORE generous with him than I am (god help me). Husband is reliable, trustworthy, tall and charming, can carry on a conversation and is witty, he’s handsome and sweet-hearted, handy and a super-duper Daddy. He’s also a thick-headed guy sometimes who needs to slow down and listen and think more with his heart. But isn’t that most men? He’s my husband, we’re so married and we’re going the distance because I love him madly. And yes, I am challenged. It’s what I asked for I suppose. (cue Aimee Mann “You’ve got, what you want. You can’t hardly stand it.”)

These are the things I know to be TRUE. You should also know that I am a woman of faith. Not like in god with a capital G (tho I’m not opposed to using that word because it’s how most of us label our belief, but I’ll use a small g, thankyouverymuch). Maybe it’s more that I believe in Magic, but not like the capital W (tho I don’t rule that out either). It’s more that I believe in the beautiful, simple, small miracles. I believe that the world works, good triumphs over evil, words and thoughts can shape and shift reality in a blink of an eye. It’s a tingly feeling that makes things happen. It’s like all the good of Disneyland when you’re a kid and letting go of my adult cynicism of marketing, money and mouse ears. As my friend Victoria would say, it’s getting in the flow.

So what’s my problem? Like many of us – financial strain, of course. Finding what’s real for me as related to my next career/job. Ideally I want work that is authentic for me, a real expression of who I am. Can I just do a job and be thankful for a paycheck? Maybe, I just need to get over myself. I dunno, you tell me. This all leads me to my biggest struggle – many families’ dilemma. Do I work to put my kids in someone else’s care? I love the people that care for my boys, please don’t get me wrong, but often it’s just about equal: my pay would pay for day care and that’s about it. (and when I say day care, yes, BigBoy would go to preschool). This seems too crazy to comprehend.

And if we can make this work and I can stay home, will I finally lose my identity under a load of laundry? It could happen, trust me. For god sakes, I already drive a minivan. Sometimes I even am repulsed when I think of myself driving 80 down the 5 freeway with my venti latte in one hand and singing Madonna at the top of my lungs (Oh the cliché! Oh the horror! My kids may not play soccer yet, but it’s coming!)

I also will be going to hell (if I believed in hell) because I care about how I look. Vanity is a sin, isn’t it? It’s strange to live in Southern California where people barely wear clothes and 40 IS right around the corner! Really, I just want to feel good about myself, but aging in getting in the way. I know…from the inside out and all that stuff. But have you looked in the mirror lately and said, “Where did that come from?” The real question is where is it going?

And another thing…I need more sex. Let me be clear – with my husband. You know the emotional clogging that gets in the way of really letting it go? (women, back me up here) Well we’re in need of emotional Drain-O! And I struggle here. You’d think with all this writing and putting it out on the internet, I wouldn’t have a problem talking with my husband, but I do.

And that brings me back to the beginning…I write because I can’t afford therapy right now. Writing will help me find my calmer waters and fix my drains. So have a drink with me and let’s toast to the sea!