This year there will be ample opportunities for us to volunteer: in the classroom, on the playground, with the PTA, for the fundraisers, as the soccer coach. Please for the love of all things good, say yes, but let’s say yes this year with a little more thought and intention. Mostly, let’s not ‘lose it’ this year.

Allow me to look back, when you were pulling your hair out and not sleeping because you were over-committed and going nuts. You were turning into the psycho-bitchy mom that some people just want to steer away from. As your kids are getting older, they are seeing you go mad (yes, as in crazy and angry) and they are starting to make fun of you (and it’s only getting worse).

Let’s just pause the video of last year and reflect as to how you got this way. You wanted to help. That’s great and much appreciated, however you being crazed at the end of the year didn’t serve your community, family or yourself well. And you know the neighborhood talks. So let’s think this through.

First let’s consider what’s currently on your plate. You have a commitment to a strong marriage and you have another little one at home. You already are the soccer team mom and volunteer in your kindergartner’s classroom. You also are the shuttle service for dance class, carpool twice a week for soccer and little Johnnie wants to add on karate this year and you’re considering it. (That alone makes me want to drink more, but let’s get back to you…). I also know that you cook most your family’s meals, do all the laundry and shopping, and your husband occasionally travels for work.

And because this is my blog and truly I am looking out for you, you need to wear something more than your yoga pants. I’m just saying girl, you totally have cute clothes and you never wear them! I know that you’d feel better if you would give yourself a little more time (especially in the morning!). This is a conversation for another day, but I just want to bookmark this for a future bottle of wine and chit chat. And your van really needs to go to the car wash more than once a semester. It will force your to find whatever that smell is that my kid complains about when riding in your car. Okay, had to say that. So back to you…

Do you really need to take on one more volunteer opportunity? I know you are incredible. Totally. You made a big impact last year and I do think volunteering is important. But I also think you are important. You were getting all aggro and way too stressed last year. I am confident that someone else will take on the challenge. I worry about you, your health and mental stability.

I just think as committed and good moms we sometimes take on too much and don’t know where our limits are. Then we go crazy in the process of doing everything, exhausting ourselves, getting sick when the little ones catch a bug and then we’re a grumpy, stressed out mess.  By the time the holidays come around, we’re verging on the edge of a total breakdown. Let’s commit to not going down that path this year. Let’s say yes to one thing, maybe two, and do it well. Let’s keep our sanity in check.

As our kids are headed to class and the parent-teacher meetings and fall social signups start happening, heed my warning. Think about this pep talk and respond with, “let me think about it” rather than automatically saying yes because you did that last year. Because look at what happened to you.

Girls, we’re in this together. I say this as much to you as to me. Let’s just think about all that we already do (and do it well) before we go and sign up for one more thing. Cheers to a great school year without making ourselves crazy. I’ll drink to that.

I love them. I hate them. I love them. And I'm DAMN proud to be the 4th sister!

An ode to woman for which you shouldn’t be surprised
Because we come from the same cloth, Shane Parmely, you and I.

We are true sisters from a long away tribe
that had feistiness and spriteliness and goddess inside.
For you see my all of me, the warts and beauty within
you bring out my sexiness and happiness and skin!

For you, I am greatful* and thrilled that we’re friends,
but truly I know we are sisters of kin.

And your sisters are my sisters and friends of friends
For when we are together, may the good times never end!
For you are a very happy spot in my life
That is forever truthful and mighty and I take in stride

But one thing’s for sure and will not deny
You are my sista sista
and friend
you and I

Inspired by the outrageous group of women at Sister Anna’s Palm Spring 1^st Annual Bachelorette Party.  Cheers ladies and friends of friends!

*yes, goddammit I know I misspelled the word

As you know my life has been full of Jazzercise instructor training lately.  The great news is that I became an Associate to the Solana Beach classes and I’ll be teaching Tuesdays & Thursdays in the evenings and Saturday mornings.  (Yippee!!!)  The Tuesday & Thursday classes are new on the schedule, so in doing my part to help fill the class, I’m spreading the word.  I don’t want to be working out, sweating and singing with my manager (though I’m sure that would be fun), but  I would love if my class is filled with smiling familiar faces.

Even if you’ve never done Jazzercise before… Even if you think you are uncoordinated…  I’ll ask you… Do you like to dance? Do you like music? Do you need to get your butt moving and heart pumping?   Come smile, sweat and find your beat with me.  I promise that we don’t wear leg warmers, but we do have a good time.  Details for the Solana Beach Jazzercise classes can be found online or find a class near you.  One thing I know for sure is that having a fitness activity helps manage my stress, weight and general state of mind. So if you don’t have a fitness class (or regular activity), come try mine.  You just might love it!

If you end up loving it (and I suspect you will) then I’d strongly encourage you to join ESPECIALLY while there are some great deals happening this month.  (That’s how I got hooked feeling good and getting a deal!)

Here’s our Charter Membership offer (available only at the Solana Beach or Carmel Valley classes):

Here’s the corporate Summer Offer:

I hope to see you there!

You don’t need an excuse for a massage, facial, waxing, skin care treatment or reflexology appointment. You most likely deserve it. And need it. And REALLY want one. Look, I don’t want to hear all the excuses for why not. We all have them. This time, just say YES.

It’s self-care. It’s self preservation. It’s sanity saving. AND you’re saving! Just say YES because you will say Ahhhh….

That’s how I felt in the hands of Jordan (could be a great band name, Hands of Jordan) at my local Facelogic. I opted for a Microdermabrasion Elite Facial with a Tea Tree Mask Treatment. Ahhh… The microdermabrasion facial was more than half off its regular price, which calls for a YIPEEE and an Ahhh!

I loved the stylish interior and groovy chill music in the store and I enjoyed chatting with the owner, Jill Johnson, while I waited for my appointment time. Jill believes that women (men too, but particularly women) should take better care of themselves and caring for our skin is one great way to do that. During our conversation I inquired about the membership opportunities (because that’s what these types of places always try to sell you on, right?). I have to say, no membership fee and reasonable monthly facial treatments sounds down right ideal for stress relieving self-care. And think about how good your skin would look with personalized skincare consulting and treatments! Ahhh…

the mask of no shame

Every bit of my experience at Facelogic in Encinitas was ahhhingly (my new word) fantastic. Jordan, my Skincare Therapist, was professional, charming, funny and excellent with her long, firm fingers. I think I actually purred while she was applying some kind of cream to my face. The chairs that you lay in are ahhhb-solultely divine and immediately relaxing. My treatment was ahhhmazing. My microdermabrasion was not nearly as rough as the last one I had three years ago. It was almost (strangely) peaceful and felt like I was getting a much-needed thorough exfoliation (go figure). With my enhanced treatment, a cool soothing Tea Tree mask, I was hoping that my time in the chair would never end.

But it did. Dammit. I wanted to live there.

I emerged happily groggy with a fresh face and a grin.

I love Spa Week. I want to live there too.

Treat yourself. Treat your Mom. Treat your sister or best friend. It’s so worth it. Make a day or an afternoon of it. It feels so good to be in a professional’s hands that are there to care of you. April 11-17th is Spaaah Week. Go out and get yourself some Ahhhs.

Facelogic Encinitas
208 El Camino Real, Suite C
TJ Maxx/BevMo Shopping Center
Encinitas, CA 92024
760.840.FACE (3223)

Facelogic Encinitas is offering two Elite Facials and the Microdermabrasion Facial that I mentioned in this post for $50 during Spa Week (usually they are $109). They are a great group of women who will treat you and your friends ahhhmazingly! Go and tell them I sent you.

Spa Week Info:
The most luxurious spa deals of the season have arrived… it’s almost Spa Week! The 14th installation of Spa Week is taking place April 11-17 in more cities than ever before. Nearly a thousand spas nationwide are participating–each offering 2-3 of their most coveted spa services for just $50 a piece. These treatments normally range from $75 – $500, so book appointments as soon as possible to get the best stuff. Escape for an hour, or make a week of it and try as many different treatments and spas as possible! Browse the $50 Spa Week Directory at www.spaweek.com.

No babysitter? No excuse! 82 LifeSpa locations are offering FREE Child Care while you get pampered during @SpaWeek. http://ow.ly/4pJdj

We moved to this neighborhood in 2006 from San Francisco. Thanks to our neighbors, Patty & Bruce, we immediately met a bunch of our neighbors, but at the time there weren’t many with kids at our age (or so I thought). Since BigBoy has gone to kindergarten, it’s like all of a sudden lots of school age children have appeared right around the corner from us. And what makes it even cooler is that there are lots and lots of boys. And what’s even awesomer (yes, that’s a word)…I like the moms!  C’mon, tell the truth, you don’t love all the women you meet?

Pilar, Tanya, Me, Michelle, Lucky Dame & Therese

Relationships with other moms warrants a blog post all on its own. It’s full of land mines and missteps. I feel so lucky and thankful to have connected with the lovely ladies of my block. One of them is even a blogger, Lucky Dame, so we have that in common too. All the ladies live within two blocks of each other and our boys range from 18 months – 9 years old (2nd graders). There’s enough of a spread that someone always has a playmate (well except for when BigBoy decides to quiet his mind by himself). Jelly Bean is the youngest so we really have to keep our eyes on him when he’s out of his high chair, but he’ll be running with the big boys in no time.

Often times, we extend an invitation to other friends and MOBs (Moms of Boys) who are outside our block. Sometimes, the lovely Therese joins us. You want to hate her, but can’t help but to love her.  She’s the friend without kids that we jealously hear about her great trips and glamorous life. She adds a touch of class to our group and always brings great wine.  Damn her flat belly, but then again tiny Tanya doesn’t have one either.

Every Friday around 3:00, you can find us at one of our homes. Sometimes we play Rummikub, but mostly you can count on us hovering near the food and wine, handing out juiceboxes. The big boys generally are outside playing tag or soccer while the littlest boys (BabyD and Juice Box) are playing with trains in another room.

Food, wine, exercise tips, body image, professional advice, sanity support, and marital advice are just some of the things we’ve shared.  Trouble and unexplained bruises generally occurs when Pilar is the afternoon’s mixologist, but we’re not nearly as crazy as you might imagine (okay maybe a little).  Mostly it’s just good clean fun.  We have shared so many great laughs, supportive words, kind hugs, and even dance moves. We all feel truly thankful and damn lucky to have found each other — a great group of women and their boys that all get along and play well together. It’s been so wonderful to have friends like these and right around the block. Thanks gals for the fun and friendship!  Cheers to you!

What are you most thankful for this week? Leave a comment and let me know and if you blog, feel free to borrow my button and link to your Thankful Thursday post.

You may know about my love for Jazzercise. How it met me in pudgy darkness and brought me into the dancing light with my soul singing. Well, not really that poetic, but it feels really good to shake it out, get funky and sweaty twice a week. And I’ve definitely firmed up. However…

Look, I know who I am. I have always been a bit of a curvy girl. And I get it, it’s all perspective. My weight is something that I have to manage. I’m not 20 any more.  Hell, I’m almost not in my 30s anymore. I know that I feel better mentally and physically when I have a regular fitness routine (currently Jazzercise twice a week and a weekly 3-mile walk). However I still have dimples in places that I’d rather not expose and a softened mommy middle. Last month, I would have said that I’m at a good level of fitness. I have been satisfied and comfortable.

Well, something came over me and I expressed interest in becoming a Jazzercise instructor. I think the impulse was coming out of a desire to bring more fun and funky to others. But now I’m in training to be certified.

Holy. Shit.

Really that’s all I need to say.

I have never, outside of pregnancy or social drinking, ever been driven to a point of nausea or thinking I was going to fall over and pass out. That was until Saturday when I met Holly Galloway, a Jazzercise Quality Coordinator in our district. She’s taking us trainees on in a big way and while she’s not a drill sergeant (because she’s really kind and wonderful), she is tough and a firecracker driving us to…well, I almost fainted.

There are three other women that are going through the certification process with me for the San Diego area. While chatting them up, I found out that they Jazzercise 4-8 times a week. Yep, I’m behind the curve. Bringing up the rear, so to speak. It was clear from my performance on Saturday’s district practice session that I am missing (yes, I wrote this down) intensity, endurance and stamina.

I have some serious work cut out for me. Certification is April 7th and there is a second workshop the week before auditions to see if you have it together enough to be certified. That means you must have the knowledge, movements, stamina, intensity, endurance, and the sensibility to cue all the movements while breathing heavy and connecting to the customers. And have I mentioned that there is a CPR exam that I need to do and a physiology test online before the end of the month? Yeah, there’s that too.

So I am challenged.

What I am particularly thankful for is that I know how to meet this challenge. I could easily totally freak out, talk myself out of this, have sleepless nights of worry and despair and give up. I could. This is a lot for me as a WAHM who was in fair shape exercising three times a week.

As Holly said during our first practice session, “This is what you signed up for. Are you going to rise to the challenge and meet it?”

I’m doing what I know can work and not focusing on what won’t work. I am constantly reminding myself that I have a choice here of how I react to this challenge. I’m not going to psych myself out. I’m gonna psych myself up. I’m not even going to give too much airtime to how much my body aches. And it aches. I just need to pay attention so that I’m not going too far as to injure myself, but I am holy moly pushing my limits.

Here’s what’s working and how I’m eating this elephant (eww…that is a gross saying). I have a partner, the lovely and determined to count it out, Faye. We’re a great pair. I listen to the changes in the music and she provides the count. We’re learning a lot from each other. We’re taking full advantage of more time with Holly (twice a week for the next three weeks). Holly provides great feedback, asks a lot of us and sets the bar really high. Well, she IS the Quality Coordinator for our district and (what I would say) Premiere Instructor. I’m doubling up on the number of Jazzercise workouts each week. I’m practicing the trainee routines everyday for a hour (at least). I’m listening to the music every chance I get. I’m finding the goodness in every song because typically, you’d never see a country song in one of my sets. But I am strangely falling into great like of a Leann Rimes song.  Strange and unusual, but I’m finding what I like in it.

Outside of the corporate offices there is a sculpture amongst the design-winning xeriscape. I don’t know the artist or the name of the piece, but it just spoke to me, “I Can.” I can do this and I am grateful for this challenge that has presented itself to me.

Where are you being challenged in your life to rise above where you’re comfortable? Have you embraced it? Have you given thanks for the opportunity?  Feel free to comment below and let me know.

Just some good thinking for you to consider on this Thankful Thursday.

Cheers!

Don't you just love this blue toilet with a wood lid?

It takes me too long to clean our house.  I can do the upstairs, but then the downstairs is a mess.  I could pick up the kids’ toys and crapola, but then I’d never get to mopping the floors and having them dry.  And quite frankly, I hate cleaning the toilet of three boys. Enough said.  Blessed Vicente and his wife clean the whole house in one fell swoop.  It takes them three hours.  Three hours to restore a sense of order and calm.  I love them.  They do what I cannot.

For that I am thankful.  Oh so very thankful.

They have also taught me a lesson.  When Vicente first cleaned my house, I’d walk around and pick at all the little things that they didn’t get to, sometimes a window ledge would be forgotten or they don’t wipe the water-stained wall underneath the hand towels.  Well, that’s just me in a nutshell.  Finding the picky little things and threatening to fire them. Husband pointed out that I could do those little things and to be thankful for the overall work.  They do a good job.  One that I could never do in three hours (and only getting paid $80). So say thank you. Oh I do now.

Sometimes I come home as they are finishing up and I hug them both since a clean house brings me so much joy.  I think that freaks his wife out a bit.

Now if only I could work it into our budget that they come twice a month. That’s twice the peace and ahh in a month.  I need to work on that.

Friends, what are you thankful for today? What is your favorite time of the month? Let me know by leaving a comment below.

Cheers!

This is not BabyD, but it is a toddler immitating him

Tonight, like many nights at a dinner table with a two (almost three year old), BabyD just wasn’t into eating and bedtime was quickly approaching. In fact it was seven minutes pass. And he insisted on being fed. Husband and I are working with him on being a big boy; he is about to turn three. So when BabyD insisted on someone feeding him, we cheerfully asked him, “Hey aren’t you about to be three? You’re not a baby anymore. Time to feed yourself.” He’s the second child, so trust me, he knows what he’s doing and I do sympathize that sometimes he wants to be babied and we certainly do indulge him from time to time (carrying him, thumb sucking, sleeping in diapers, etc.). However, whining at the dinner table is at the bottom of my list for family pastimes or favors.

Look, I realize that I’m a bit hard-core. I have a belief that as parents we need to be impeccable with our word*. I believe that as human beings with integrity we need to practice this at the utmost, but even more so as parents. I believe this is an integral step to children trusting us and listening. I am constantly practicing (as a parent and human being) saying what I mean and doing what I say. I think it’s vitally important as a parent to be consistent in word and deed. And it’s hard, but my attention is on it and sometimes I don’t do so good, but it’s a great learning area where I’m still developing my muscles. When I say, “we’re leaving in 10 minutes” I mean it and most the time, we’re pretty close (but not always).

Husband on the other hand is a softie. He is an EXCELLENT parent, way above my observations of most husbands and fathers. However, nothing reveals our chasm more than moments like tonight (bless his sweet heart).

When BabyD puts on the wails, “feed me!!!!” I put on the ultimatums, “You choose. Go to bed (because it’s past your bedtime) or eat your dinner. Sweetheart, you’re too old to be fed.” The wailing continues. Husband makes the move to pick him up and put him to bed. And please know that we have a long-agreed saying in our household when it comes to children, “we do not negotiate with terrorists.”

But what does Husband do? Reach for the fork! I think I shouted (a little too loudly), “Are you kidding me??? Do not feed the terrorist!!!”

Sometimes, I think I’m just a little too rigid, but it’s nights like tonight that I want to hold on tightly to our principles because BabyD knows who butters his bread (Daddy). I believe this will have implications later to come.

Am I crazy? Am I wrong here?

Husband and I had a brief aligning conversation after putting BabyD down without finishing his dinner, but I still have a moment of pause. Needing friends’ advice…

* A saying from The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom a must-read self help book.

For more wonderful imagery, please visit my bloggy friends by clicking their buttons.

Thanks for stopping by! Cheers!

Have you heard of the candy fairy yet?  She’s a first cousin of the tooth fairy and a good friend of parents and many dentists around the world.  She has a service where you can call her and she will gladly pick up the candy that’s been lying around after the holiday.  She comes to your home at night and removes the candy that you’ve left out on the counter and throws it in a neighbors trashcan and distributes it along with good cheers to those in need.

That's BigBoy sneaking a fry from BabyD

Restaurants are also getting in on the idea.  Yummy, yummy Wahoo’s Fish Taco‘s back office staff benefit from your kids’ crummy candy for a free kids’ meal.  I also heard that Noodles & Company is doing a similar program (however, I don’t know what they are doing with their candy, but I swear I asked while I was at Wahoo’s last night and that’s what the cashier told me — it’s for their office staff!!!)  Both restaurants candy exchange programs go for a week.  I also heard that my dentist office participated in a program that donated candy to the troops, but it was only for one day.  My pediatrician office did a buy back program ($1 for each pound!).  However, I didn’t know about either of them and quite frankly I wasn’t ready to give up the candy a day past Halloween.  However, that’s good info for next year.

Today is four days past Halloween and it’s time for it to go.  It’s too tempting for me when I work at home or after putting the boys to bed.  We went to Wahoo’s with a couple of hands full and got free kid’s meals last night.  Hubs took a lot of chocolate to work, but I can’t stand how the Nerds keep calling me.  The Tootsie Rolls keep whispering to me. Hell, the Laffy Taffy keeps laughing at me.  I can’t take it anymore!!!

"an apple a day..." Whad'ya say Milky Way?

I don’t want to have a repeat on the weight gain from last year.  Halloween is when my soft and gooey center started and I’m not going back!  I don’t mind having a little bit as rewards for the boys, but I can’t have bucketsful just sitting around.

Gotta call the sugar fairy now!  If you are tired of your sugar hangover (or the kids’) and you want to fight off the temptation – get rid of it!  Check out what programs are in your area.  Wahoo’s and Noodles’ free meal swaps are good for another few days.  Google your town and “Halloween candy swap.”  You may find something local for you.  Otherwise call the fairy and let her distribute it others trash cans in need.

Cheers!

P.S. Wanted to say one of those women that was WAY up on the cool candy fairy is Jenny from the Nourished Kitchen.  She wrote about the candy fairy last summer (yeah that’s how behind it I am).  She’s a Jen so she’s totally awesome, but she also writes about whole foods.